The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown – Your one stop guide to Wholehearted Living

Midlife Crisis: The unravelling time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are.

Start saying “NO” rather than “SURE” and being resentful and pissed off later – Do things ” WHOLEHEARTEDLY”

WHOLEHEARTED LIVING

No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I’m enough. It’s going to bed thinking, “Yes, I’m imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I’m also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

Wholehearted People

• Deliberate their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation or simply setting their intentions.
• Inspired to make new and different choices.
• Take action.

Owning our story can be hard but not as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experience that make us the most vulnerable.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Connection: The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued, when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on “going it alone.” Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone.

Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves.

It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is we are both.

Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help.

To practice courage, compassion an connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, “I’m all in.”

If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.

The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute.

Most of us like safety, certainty and clarity. Shame and love are grounded in vulnerability and tenderness.

FITTING IN AND BELONGING

Fitting-in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be, to be accepted.

Belonging, on the other hand doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.

PRACTICE SELF LOVE

Most of us are hard on ourselves. I know I can talk to myself in ways that I would never consider talking to another person.

I don’t just want someone who says they love me, I want someone who practices that love for me everyday.

If we want to live and love with our whole hearts and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way – especially shame, fear and vulnerability.

Shame is the intense painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

• Guilt: I did something bad.
• Shame: I’m Bad.

WORTHY NOW!

Authenticity: is the daily practice of letting go of who we thing we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.

“Staying Real” is one of the most courageous battles that we’ll ever fight.

“Speaking Out” is a major shame trigger for women.

Shame is the birthplace of Perfectionism.

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.

      PERFECTIONISM = PERFORM + PERFECT + PLEASE OTHERS

Healthy Striving is self focused – How can I improve?

Perfectionism is other focused – What will they think?

Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. Perfectionism is the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life-paralysis.

Life Paralysis: refers to all the opportunities we miss, because were too afraid to put anything out in the world that can be imperfect. It is all of the dreams we do not follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes and disappointing others.

This book has been the one encouraging me to accept my imperfections and take action even if the whole canvas is not painted in full.